Audio recording >>
This is My
WALT choose words that describe a moment (in an exciting way) for the reader
YOUR SIGNS OF SUCCESS
- begins in the action
- present tense (I am, not I was)
- short, sharp sentences
- strong verbs
- uses the senses (look, feel, hear, taste, smell)
- language features (simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor)
- show personality (sounds like you, humour, feelings, exaggeration)
We are all now heading to the rope cave. As we walk thru the smelly old wet cave I start to smell the damp smell of the cave including the insects that are in it like wetas and glow worms on the roof of the cave.
I go down the rope scared as anything & having Ms Hill directing me down. “oh” I feel a rock so I stand on it and I look down and its the bottom of the whole. “Yahh” its the bottom of the whole so we keep moving. And as I look up to see a weta my foot gets cold instantly and so I look down to see why “eww” my foot is in the wet soggy mud and it starts to sink down. I try to pull it up but no luck yet so I try harder and it comes out all covered in gooey mud. “Oh”!!!!! we have reached the end of the Smelly cave and now we have to go back to camp :-(. “Woah” it’s pitch black now and we can't see anything out here but luckily we have torches so now we can see:-). Are we going the right way I wonder because we all can't see the vans yet. “Woah look at the vans I say to Richard behind me the lights on the vans are glowing in the dark and it looks like a monster shape. We start to hop into our vans in the pitch black cold night we finally start to drive off heading back to camp. We get to camp before you know it and all go have toasty warm showers. After our showers we have free play until tea is ready. After tea we go to bed.